When We Exist - Behind the Scenes

I was stoked when Pink Sky first approached me about creating a music video. Their building emotive tracks are a storytellers playground and their open and trusting approach allowed me to write a story I was passionate to tell. The idea stemmed from their first album Forms, a conceptual album about the journey of AI experiencing emotions for the first time. That resonated with me. I went deeper by asking a few questions. If a lab created AI Beings capable of emotion, how would they test them? How would they get a baseline on what they think and if they feel?

What does it take for AI Beings to feel emotions?

Watch the film below to find out.

It gets pretty intense in the lab. Check out what Pink Sky says about the inspiration behind the song.

Band Statement

“This song emerged unexpectedly from a jam last year, on a day when we were particularly tense—a day when our personal experiences of trauma converged with our collective experiences of trauma—specifically, the climate crisis at all of our feet. “When We Exist” reflects this highly emotional state of anxiety, when the tension of existence is so thick it’s hard to breathe or believe it could ever end. Like these difficult states, “When We Exist” asks for a willingness to sit in the tension in order to be present, to allow the feelings of panic and anxiety to flow freely and fully so they may run their course, rather than being avoided, truncated, or minimized. In repetition, we can enter a trance-like state that opens new doors of seeing and being. This song, as one of several meditations on the album, is about recognizing and allowing difficult feelings to be seen, heard, and shared—even when they are scary.”

Actor Chris Kotcher, Director Philip Carrel and Gaffer Matt Lowing prepare for the first shot.

Art Director Loralee Grace and Lucas Benjamin prepare the wardrobe as cast arrives at the start of the day.

Cinematographer Jeff Sukes frames up the shot.

When you are crewing up for a creative project, being on the same page is key. (it’s page 47 for those following along at home) Collaborating with Cinematographer Jeff Sukes was a dream come true. He knows the technical side of camera and uses that knowledge achieve what his creative aesthetic eye sees. One of my favorite shots of the production came from Jeff recommending we shoot The Scanner playing the organ from behind, creating more mystery.

Art Director Loralee Grace and On-set dresser Meg Case Porter prepare actor Marck Kiselevach for his sweaty close up.

1st AC Tyler Hollman juggles diopters with 2nd AC Joshua Skinner. Photo by Jason Grinde.

The Technical Side of Shooting

Thanks to Tyler Hollman, we had some amazing camera tech on set. As a director I’d rather be close to the actors than shouting direction to them from across a room. Tyler came prepared with several mobile monitors that allowed me to be as close as I needed to be. It also allowed me to communicate more effectively when it came to blocking, performance and set styling. Teradek, the company behind the wireless gear, covered the tech side in more detail. Check it out at the link below.

https://teradek.com/blogs/articles/why-our-director-has-never-been-happier-feat-1st-ac-tyler-hollman

A color and creativity test served on a tray.

Actor Rachel White looks on as Kim Nguyen tests Tori Moh in a rehearsal.

What do you see?

When I was younger I was tested for dyslexia, the experience was a ticket out of class and individual attention, which I enjoyed. I was given memory puzzles and the Rorschach inkblot test. “What do you see?” they asked, no doubt my imagination and knack for free association came in handy. They decided I did not have dyslexia but would have to carry a spell checker around the rest of my life, it being the naive 90’s they did not realize we would eventually all carry spell checkers one day. Ryan Hay of Pink Sky created original ink blots for the film. it was fun to see them in action and hear the reactions of the cast and crew.

It’s not a party until the dolly grip (Brett “Dutch” Beimers) has a their own chair.

A consistent supporter of West Michigan independent cinema, Lowing Light and Grip, provided lighting and grip gear. They even spruced up an ancient dry ice fogger for the shoot. I appreciate all they do for the community and we could not have pulled off the look of the film without them.

Attention to detail is so important, this is what it looks like in action.

Cinematographer Jeff Sukes wielding the power of light.

1st AD Jackson Ezinga sitting in for the EEG chair scene.

Actor Kim Nguyen holding the tablet in a precise position while 15 people watch.

The Scanner

Our 2nd day was filled with dry ice foggers and red flashing lights, which has a way of tensing up everyone in the vicinity. The Scanner’s main hobby is playing an organ while a mysterious fog rolls around him, it’s a great way for him to relax, but puts everyone else on edge. Hey, he can’t be all business. The Scanner tests each round of Beings for defects, if he finds any, things get dusty. The scientists use this final test to also see how any surviving Beings respond and make notes on what they observe. The Scanner may seem like a villain, but is he really the force behind it?